Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
