They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
pray to the hookup gods
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
