Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
