quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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