thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
