You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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