I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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