he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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