I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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