yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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