Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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