Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
