when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it's like heaven, but drunker
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize