well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
