I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My Higher Power is John Stamos
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
