This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
