i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
