well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
