Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
