She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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