So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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