"it" just moved
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
