After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
