Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
