New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
