It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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