May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
