Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
