gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
As shirtless as possible
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize