hotel room ftw
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
