The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
