He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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