Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
