Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He better not be in your backpack
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
