Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
