Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
