dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I believe in your delicious
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