Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
