I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So much rum. So many feels.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize