so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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