i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
