let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Say something about gay babies.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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