hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
