What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
