Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
