Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
