CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
