And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
