I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize