True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
