I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
