The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
look no pants
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
