He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
