oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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