She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
