my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You can't just leave with hair like that
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
