Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
